


Oikawa Tooru is not as perfect as everyone thinks.

by Lance_the_fuckboy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Oh god there's so much angst, Scar Kissing, Self-Harm, does that count as body worship?, it sorta has a happy ending, listen i just felt down abt my scars so i wanted to live vicariously through my faves, tw: scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 09:06:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6045880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lance_the_fuckboy/pseuds/Lance_the_fuckboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa Tooru is very very very sad. Iwaizumi tries to fix that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oikawa Tooru is not as perfect as everyone thinks.

**Author's Note:**

> i just want someone to kiss my scars tbfh  
> so why not live vicariously through my faves
> 
> also i thought this might help other people with their self harm scars but probably not
> 
> lmao i might just delete this tbh

Everyone thinks he's perfect. With pretty smiles and happy laughs.  
But they know nothing.  
They don't know the countless nights he spends staring at the ugly scars that litter otherwise perfect thighs. They don't know that he stares so long that eventually he just adds more. They don't know how those happy laughs are replaced by ugly broken sobs when he's alone with his thoughts.

Today is one of those nights. His parents are away and he's staring at himself in the mirror again.  
'Pretty' he thinks looking at his face. He looks at his hips then, scarred since he ran out of room on his legs.  
'Ugly' his mind sneers as he trails his eyes lower, to the slash marks on his thighs.  
"Hideous," he whispers before he breaks down.

With his head in his hands and loud sobs the only thing to be heard he doesn't even hear his phone go off. He doesn't hear his front door open or the steps on the stairs. He only notices someone is here when the door of his room flings open. Still, he keeps his head in his hands.

Large hands are around his wrists, pulling his hands away from his face. Then big brown eyes are met with deep green.

He sobs again. Iwa-chan wasn't meant to see him like this. Now he'd be disgusted. This isn't supposed to happen. Iwa-chan would think he's ugly.  
Ugly, ugly, ugly ugl-.

He doesn't realize he's started saying it out loud until Iwaizumi presses his lips to his gently.

"You're not ugly." He says staring in his eyes.

Oikawa chokes on another sob. "I am," he whispers brokenly, he sobs again.

Iwaizumi holds him in his chest and runs fingers through his hair. He doesn't tell him to stop crying though. Just lets him soak his shirt with salty tears.

Eventually Oikawa's broken sobs quiet to small breathy hiccups. Neither of them move for a while. Iwaizumi pushes him gently and looks at him again.  
"You're not ugly." he repeats.

Oikawa doesn't look at all convinced. Iwaizumi guesses he'll just have to convince him.

He stands up and offers Oikawa his hand. Oikawa takes it hesitantly. Iwaizumi helps him up and lays him on the bed gently.

"You're not ugly," he says again, kissing him again. It's gentle and soft and filled to the brim with emotion that Iwaizumi hopes gets through to him.

He kisses his cheek then and Oikawa gives him a questioning look. Iwaizumi smiles and moves much lower. To his hips.

A few tears slip out of Oikawa's eyes as he realizes what he's doing.

Iwaizumi presses a soft kiss to one of the scars. And then another. Soon he's kissed each and every one. Oikawa hiccups on another sob as he watches.

He moves farther down and kisses the scars on his thighs. He pays close attention to the scarred 'Why' on the inside of his right thigh. Oikawa lets out another quiet sob.

Iwaizumi raises to his face and kisses him again. Oikawa kisses back this time and clings to the back of Iwaizumi's shirt.

"You're not ugly," he says again.  
Oikawa chuckles sadly and Iwaizumi kisses him again. Oikawa kisses back with a few tears trickling down his cheeks.  
"I love you," he whispers.

Oikawa breaks down again.

He was lying. No one loved him. That's why his parents were always away. That's why they never even questioned when he spent hours in the shower. That's why ugly scars littered his legs.  
How could anyone love him when he didn't even love himself.  
He sobbed again and Iwaizumi kissed the top of his head.

He said it again and Oikawa let out another sob.

He said it again and Oikawa hugged him close. He still didn't believe him, not completely.

He kissed him and said it again.

"You're lying," Oikawa whispered. "No one loves me," He didn't cry, he'd run out of energy for that. He just sat in Iwaizumi's lap with his head on his shoulder.

Iwaizumi sighed and kissed him again. "I love you," he repeated over and over again as he kissed Oikawa repeatedly.

He kissed him hard and cupped his face between calloused palms. 

"I love you, Tooru," he whispered, staring into his eyes. And maybe this time Oikawa let himself believe it because he smiled weakly and kissed him back.

"I love you too," he whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> I cried multiple times writing this and it's not even that good


End file.
